Understanding Anxiety in Children: What Parents Should Know
It is normal for children to experience worries and fears as they grow. Many children feel nervous before the first day of school, meeting new people, or sleeping away from home. Sometimes anxiety can help motivate us to perform our best. However, when anxiety becomes persistent, overwhelming, or begins interfering with daily life, it may be time to seek additional support.
Anxiety in children can look very different from anxiety in adults, especially in younger children who may not yet have the words to explain what they are feeling.
What Anxiety Can Look Like in Children
Children with anxiety are not always obviously “worried.” In fact, anxiety often shows up through behaviors, physical symptoms, or emotional reactions that can easily be misunderstood.
Some common signs of anxiety in children include:
Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no clear medical cause
Excessive reassurance-seeking (e.g., asking repetitive questions to ensure safety)
Difficulty separating from parents or caregivers
Irritability, tantrums, or emotional outbursts
Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
Avoidance of school, social situations, or new activities
Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes
Difficulty concentrating
Clinginess or needing constant comfort
In younger children especially, anxiety may appear more behavioral than verbal. A child may become tearful, frozen, or physically distressed rather than saying, “I’m anxious.” For example, a child who refuses to go to school may be experiencing intense worry about separation, social situations, or performance expectations.
Because anxiety can present differently depending on a child’s age and temperament, it is important to look at patterns over time and how much the symptoms interfere with daily functioning.
What Treatment for Childhood Anxiety Looks Like
One of the most effective treatments for childhood anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT helps children and their parents understand the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors while teaching practical coping skills for managing anxiety.
For younger children, treatment often involves heavy parent involvement. Parents play a central role in helping children practice coping skills, face fears gradually, and reduce patterns that may unintentionally make anxiety worse.
Treatment may include:
Learning how anxiety works in the body and brain
Identifying anxious thoughts
Practicing coping strategies
Gradual exposure to feared situations
Building confidence through small successes
Parent coaching and support
The goal is not to eliminate anxiety completely, as everyone experiences anxiety sometimes, but rather to help children learn that they can tolerate uncomfortable feelings and handle challenges effectively.
Quick Coping Skills Parents Can Practice at Home
It is important to practice these skills in times of calm at first. When children are in a state of flight, fight or freeze, they are less likely to be receptive to these skills/new instruction.
Deep Breathing
Deep breathing helps calm the body’s stress response.
Try this simple exercise:
Breathe in slowly through the nose for 4 seconds
Hold for 2 seconds
Exhale slowly through the mouth for 6 seconds
Repeat several times
Younger children often benefit from playful visuals, such as pretending to “smell a flower” and “blow out a candle.”
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This skill helps children notice and release physical tension.
Guide your child to:
Squeeze their hands tightly for 5 seconds, then relax
Shrug shoulders up high, then let them drop
Tighten leg muscles, then release
Moving through the body one muscle group at a time can help children feel calmer and more connected to their bodies.
When to Seek Help
If anxiety is interfering with your child’s friendships, school attendance, sleep, family life, or daily functioning, professional support can make a significant difference. Early intervention often helps prevent anxiety from becoming more impairing over time.
With the right support, children can learn effective coping tools, build confidence, and return to engaging fully in the activities that matter most to them.
