Safety and Boundaries in the Digital Age: Tips for Parents
Screens and technology have increasingly become part of our lives over the past few decades. Children are exposed to technology at younger ages than ever before. Parents often ask how to manage their children’s screen time, and it’s understandable why this can feel tricky. While there are some widely accepted guidelines (like avoiding screens during infancy) many day-to-day decisions fall into a gray area where recommendations vary and context matters. Add in the constant stream of opinions and headlines, and it’s easy to feel unsure about what’s “right.” Taking a steady, informed approach can help cut through the noise and make choices that align with your family’s needs and values. We have compiled tips and resources with the goal of empowering parents to have conversations with their kids and set limits on screen time and technology use.
How much screentime is “OK”?
The answer to this question depends on the age of your kid(s). For all children and teens: What's important is the quality of kids' content, how your kids engage with it/any problem patterns, and balancing with enriching opportunities away from screens. Importantly, avoid using screens as pacifiers, babysitters, or to stop tantrums. Guidelines by age:
Infants (0–2 years)
Guideline: Avoid all screen time in infancy, except for video calls with family and friends. Even background TV can interfere with development.
Why? In these early years, babies learn through real-time, back-and-forth interaction. Language develops not just by hearing words, but by experimenting with sounds and getting immediate feedback like facial expressions, tone, and responses. Screens don’t provide this kind of responsive exchange, and background media can also reduce the quality of caregiver interaction. Video calls are different because they preserve that live, social connection.
Toddlers (2–5 years)
Guideline: Limit screen time to no more than one hour per day (with some flexibility on weekends), focusing on high-quality, age-appropriate programming. Co-view when possible, meaning watch together, ask questions, narrate what you see, and encourage conversation.
Why? At this age, children still learn best through interaction and play, especially play that is physically engaging. If you decide to incorporate screens, watching together helps turn screen time into an active experience, supporting language, comprehension, and critical thinking, rather than passive viewing.
Elementary school-age (6–12 years)
Guideline: Limit screen time to two hours per day of educational, high-quality content (not including homework). Set clear boundaries and routines around screens, while prioritizing sleep, physical activity, and non-screen social connection.
Why? As children get older, screens become more integrated into daily life, but balance is still key. Consistent limits help protect time for sleep, movement, and offline activities like social connection with peers, all of which support attention, learning, and overall well-being.
Teens (13 years and older)
Guideline: Work with your teen to establish clear, consistent boundaries around screen time, sleep, and physical activity, using a collaborative approach that still keeps you in a guiding role as the parent.
Why? Adolescence is a time to build independence, but teens still benefit from structure and active guidance. Collaborative problem-solving, where teens have input within clear limits, supports autonomy while reinforcing healthy habits. This is also often when social media enters the picture! Research from organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics highlights the importance of close monitoring and thoughtful limits, especially for younger teens. Platforms are intentionally designed to maximize engagement through personalized algorithms, which can make it difficult for teens to disengage. There are also concerns about links between heavy social media use and poor mental health. Early, consistent boundaries paired with ongoing conversations have the potential to help teens build the skills to navigate these spaces more safely and responsibly.
What are signs of problematic screentime?
The American Psychological Association states that social media use may be causing problems if:
It interferes with your child’s daily routines and commitments, such as school, work, friendships, and extracurricular activities.
If your child often chooses social media over in-person social interactions.
It prevents your child from getting at least 8 hours of quality sleep each night.
It prevents your child from engaging in regular physical activity.
Your child keeps using social media even when they express a desire to stop.
Your child experiences strong cravings to check social media.
Your child lies or uses deceptive behavior to spend time online.
What factors should I consider when developing rules and limits around screen time?
We recommend considering the following factors when developing rules for your kid(s) and family:
Consider quality and frequency
Get familiar with content before allowing your child or teen to engage. For example, video games have Electronic Software Ratings Board (ESRB) ratings (equivalent of movie ratings).
How much time are they spending on screens? Institute time limits on screetime.
Limit chat functions and exposure to adult content.
Consider your habits and your family's habits
Teens learn social media behavior and attitudes from their caregivers.
Implement screen-free times, for example avoiding using social media when at the dinner table or engaging in family time.
Consider engaging together with media (e.g., watching TV/movies together, viewing your kids' videogames).
Balance with tech-free experiences
Screens can be “Opportunity blockers” – limiting opportunities for screen-free experiences necessary for developing social-emotional skills
Ensure that your child gets adequate sleep (8-12 hours, depending on age), physical activity (1 hour), extracurriculars, and time with peers away from media
How do I talk to my kid(s) about their screentime?
Remember: you don’t have to be an expert! Keep the talks ongoing, ask them to explain, discuss the positives and the concerns. Remain non-judgmental, ask open-ended questions.
Set rules you can agree on. Post the rules in the house, and ideally follow them yourself.
If you don’t feel they’re ready for certain technology, it’s ok to say not yet!
Are there any resources or tools I can use to develop a plan for my kids and family?
Yes! We really like these tools for parents to develop plans and agreements for their kids' social media use:
Social media contracts (see examples here and here and here)
Family media plans: Platforms like Common Sense Media and HealthChildren.org have planners parents can work through:
Parental supervision tools on media platforms
Digital citizenship and safety education for kids to learn how to be safe online:
Your school’s information technology and digital citizenship resources
Digital blocks for screentime. Some examples include:
Apple Screentime
Google Family Link
Qustodio
And more!
